a friend of mine was diagnosed with crohns about a year or so ago, im starting to worry about him now, he dosnt come out to the pub with us anymore, says alcohol makes him sick, he just seems to stay in his place all the time, befor all this he was life and soul of the party, but now seems to shy away from people, whenever i see him now he always has dark rings round his eyes and he is so white, he also seems to get tired really quick even after a short walk.
anyways the reason im writing on here is to see if there is anything i can do for him, its kinda selfish but i want my old friend back, so if there is anything i can do please let me know. thanks

Hi, there are lots of things you need to understand about Crohns, and one of the best things you can do as a friend, is to look up Crohns on the internet and find out as much information that you can, so that you understand. If your friend is suffering a flare-up, he won't feel like being 'the life and soul' anymore. He may have awful diarrhoea and stomach cramps. When you are rushing to the loo all the time, the last place you will want to be is in a crowded pub! Crohns can make you anaemic so you will feel tired all the time. There will be side effects from any medication he is taking. Your friend may never be the same again.

My Son is 12 and has been through a lot in the last 9 months, and I know from our circumstances that we spend a lot more time at home now.

Lynn

Hi there, u have just written about me, Thank you desch, what im trying to say is your friend is doin exactly the same has im doing i was diagnosed in october last year, so its very early days for us, i believe that when weve had it for a while we will get to grips with it more, the best thing i can say is be there for your friend, i wish i had a friend that had stuck by me, my mate tried to make me go out and kept telling me i had to try and make more of an effort. i did has she told me, and embarrassed myself by having accident while out, my friend still doesnt understand why ive decided that until im more settled i will not leave the house. needless to say i dont hear from my friend much now, and im not bothered has atrue friend wonder do that, i suppose what im trying to say is be there for him bring the pub to his house if hes up to it, get games and have nite in rather than going out all the time, Your friend just need to feel at ease with himself and confident, and confidence doesnt come easy with this dreaded disease. please dont be offended with anything ive said, im telling  what i would like my friends to be like. xxxsuexxx

thanks, i didnt mean for my message to come across badly, i just mean that i can see how much he has changed in such a short time and i want him to be happy again, i will take your advise tho sue some nights in playing games or movies might work, may even perk him up a bit. just seems like im loosing my friend to something i cant help him with. thanks again

aup desch , ive had the disease for 6 years now, im guessin yur mate is in a pretty bad way, like pepple have said above, chances are he's suffering the runs, and stomach ache. trying to explain how you feel to someone that hasnt got it can be pretty hard, it can be very difficult for some one who hasnt got it to understand how we feel, but i'll try, i started with a flare up in january 2009 and im still going through it, i went off sick from work at the end of february 2009 , im constantly tired and drained, to the point of sometimes breathing is an effort, my waight is constantly fluctuating, at the moment its slowly dropping, ive lost about a stone since november, food is a constant battle one day i can eat something and be fine with it , then the next day i cud eat exactly the same thing and be in the bathroom 5 or 6 times untill its out my system , and thats not just during the day , i wake multiple times through the night also , which again makes me tired, the pain gets excrutiating somtimes. i dont know how helpful this is, or if its made things any clearer, if you click on this link it will take you to a fantastic website , and this perticular link will take you straight to the fact sheets which are chock full of information on things you can do to understand also to help your mate get on in life http://www.nacc.org.uk/content/services/infoSheets.asp. all you can do is let him relax and move at his pace now, hope he feels better soon.

Desch, im sure you feel like your losing your friend and i feel sorry for you, you obviously area good friend to seek support, and i for one didnt take youe message badly, im sure your fiend would be proud of you, just give him time and most of all be there for him, on the link thats named above there is a fact sheet for friends and family click on that one its brilliant, let us know how your friend goes on, how you cope and deal with it to. cheers xxxsuexxx

Desch we all need friends like you.  It's hard enough for us girls to talk about the finer points of the wonderful disease, so I think for lads it's bound to be a lot harder.  Life changes big time for us and those around us, most of us can no longer tolerate alcohol, and it seriously takes the edge off a fun night out.  Spciy food is also out, so going out for a curry is pants.  You have to watch what you eat, time your eating to conicide with toilets breaks!  And this along with the drugs, the side effects, the pain caused by the disease, the nausea, the tiredness, the hospital visit, the tests, I could go on.  I'm lucky I have a brilliant husband and great mates.  What makes my mates great, well they are understanding, I have to cancel so many arrangements at short notice, I  deserve to be dumped.  Get a book, and have a friendly non intrusive chat with your mate, pick up a few of the less embarassing facts, ask a few, "oh, it's that something you're having problems with" any maybe he'll open up a bit, you'll get a better understanding of how he's feeling, and perhaps you can do things that don't involve beer and food, and that could be done different times.  If I want to go out shopping on a weekend, I don't eat or drink (apart from taking my tabs) until I'm back home, there's no guarantees but it mostly successful (75%).  Make sure whatever you ae doing that there is a loo very nearby, and never, ever take the mickey, it's just so embarassing.  Best of luck to you and our friend, perhaps point him in this direction, no one gets embarassed on this site, we do that outside of the internet enough!

well thank you for every one who has writtewn on here, i have taken your advice, i've read loads of stuff on crohns now and at least i understand more now about it, altho half the stuff i've read has been kinda frightening, but i wont tell him that, lol. we've had a couple of gaming days whilst its been snowing and cold, i dont think i'll suggest the pub till he does, thank you again you are all a hell of a lot stronger than i am being able to deal with crohns, not sure i could.

dsch dont put yourself down you would cope, because you have to, and we all appriciate its big thing for the family and friends of us crohnies too, keep positve with your fiend and he will appreciate all the support your giving him, please keep in touch with us xxxsuexxx